Not long after Russia illegally invaded Ukraine, my friend and Ukrainian tutor Vira was unreachable. I panicked. Finally after about a week, she contacted me on Skype. When I saw her name on the screen, I broke down and sobbed. I was relieved that she was alive. I quickly engaged in a video call with her. When she saw my face, she immediately said what she could to calm me down.
She put my fears to rest by telling me that she was safely out of Ukraine, and now in Italy staying with a couple she used to work for many years ago as their au pair. Vira's husband was required to remain in Ukraine to serve in their armed forces.
It turned out that Vira, her mother, and other women were working on military nets, while her husband and his male friends and relatives who were of legal age, had a crash-course in combat training.
I told her, “I want to do something; I don’t know what to do!” Her answer was to start by being strong mentally. I did my best. Next, I knew that I could help her personally, by funneling money to her through our tutoring services, regardless of whether or not I accepted her tutoring sessions, that money was hers. But now what?
Her words never left me: “You are more of a help to us where you are, safe in Canada, to do what you can from over there. As long as you are alive, you can continue to help.” I knew what she meant. I didn’t need a Fort-221. I needed to use my head. I needed to use my voice.
Outside of Ukraine, the battleground is fierce on social media platforms like Twitter.
From what I’ve observed, most people who support Russia in this crisis are doing so out of political spite. Many support Donald Trump, and for them to show any sort of adversity to something Donald Trump himself supports—which is his love affair with Vladimir Putin and how he runs his Russia—they feel it’s a new-age insult to go against him. (But remember, they’ll tell you that it’s not a cult.)
With the many ways a person can support Ukraine, the “got’cha comments” usually resort to telling someone to “go to Ukraine and fight”. I’ve had it said to me a few times on Twitter.
So, I’ll respond as best I can to this. In short, no, I’m not going to Ukraine to put my boots on the ground to fight. While a Russian apologist may begin laughing at this point, likely thinking “there you have it, she’s a coward” or “the fight can’t be that bad if she doesn’t go”, let’s review this seriously. While it may be a flippant comment to shut me up, my superpower is that I don’t shut up. My strength is my big mouth during times like this. So allow me to use it here.
According to Fight for Ukraine, the International Legion Defense of Ukraine, there must be requirements met first before someone can go to Ukraine and have the Ukrainian Defense put an automatic weapon in their hand. Male applicants must have military-combat experience, and must provide official documentation to support this. They must have a passport, and must have internal documents. According to VisitUkraine.today, foreign women are able to join the Ukrainian Defense with the requirement that they have military experience (non-combat professions are allowed), documentation to support their experience, but they must not have existing medical conditions.
Well, I’m almost 50, I'm a woman, and I have zero military experience. I work as a writer and am now semi-retired. As for my health, I have five different physical medical issues that I'm living with, one of which will keep me on medication for life. The only asset that I offer to Ukraine is that I’m perimenopausal, which has me mentally ready to take someone’s head off. But would their government actually throw me in the front lines only to kill me? Then where would my voice be? How would I be any more of a help that I could have been, sending aid or assisting refugees?—which I’ve already done.
The truth is that I’d be cannon fodder and they know it, humiliating the already well-oiled machine that is the Ukrainian Defense. If you’ve ever seen the film 300, starring Gerard Butler, who plays the heroic King Leonidas of Sparta, he turns away the eager Ephialtes who just wants to help, but very evidently proves to be useless in combat.
The old saying, “A chain is only as strong as its weakest link” would apply here. I would be that weak link. I’m an older woman who has no idea how to fight, who would get in the way, constantly requiring help or needing questions answered, distracting the real soldiers from doing their jobs. Not only would I be killed, but so would the trained soldiers trying to risk their lives to help me.
Or is it some loser's hope that I’d be killed? Is someone so anti-Ukraine actually thinking that through? Perhaps they actually are!
Maybe they're implying that I shouldn’t go through the official route of applying for the National Defense, but to sneak into Ukraine as a civilian?
More bad news. According to the Government of Canada’s official site under Ukraine Travel Advice, a red highlighted advisory is made clear: Avoid all travel. After this, a series of warnings, including safety risks and limited consular services.
If a Russian supporter really does want me to go, quite simply they are indicating a few things:
They assume I have the physical prowess and skills to engage in military combat—what a compliment!
Likely…they just know I’d be killed, which means their comments are just cruel
They understand the gravity of what's going on, meaning that they know the threat is real, canceling the idea that this is a “fake war”
They don’t believe I’m doing work on my end in Canada, ignorantly believing that the only way to support is to actually be in the country of Ukraine, in combat
As Vira explained, there are many ways to help. She alluded that one should do what they are qualified for, and what they’re capable of. Someone like me would obviously be a military embarrassment, yet I would shine in communications since that is my background.
If I were to go to Ukraine and meet Volodymyr Zelensky in-person and tell him who I was and what I could do, do you honestly think he would hand me a rifle? Or do you think he’d recognize that I’d do my best work connected to the internet? And if it’s communications, there would be no need to be put me at risk in a shelter to write. I can do that—as Vira put it—from the safety of my own home in Canada in order to help from abroad. In the last several months, Ukraine has had cyber insecurities, with the possible lock down of internet access. There again, more of a reason to use my strengths where I know I’ll always have an internet connection.
Obviously we are doing something right in this fight if our words feel like we’re sticking pins in their eyes. Imagine wanting to silence an everyday, ordinary person by suggesting they be put in harm’s way. Imagine the threat we actually are, as writers or communicators, being the bringers of information, all for someone to tell us “go to Ukraine and fight if you’re so concerned” – knowing (or rather, not knowing) the stipulations in order to do so.
On the flip-side, what about Russia? Our adversaries are quick to oppose Ukraine, so why could they not serve Russia if they believe in Putin’s cause so much? Would you believe it – it’s much easier to join Russia’s Defense as a foreigner. You are not even required to have a passport. You only need to be between the ages of 18 - 60 (women) or 65 (men). You do not need a military background. The only restriction is that you do not leave your home country with existing legal issues. You're more than welcome to be unhealthy and inexperienced. So for someone quick to suggest we take our inexperienced butts to Ukraine, is it not interesting that with the door so wide open for Russian supporters that they don’t take their own silly advice to help Putin? They may back-pedal, saying that they don’t take a side and wish Russia and Ukraine resolve their differences on their own. This is why I decided to create a flow chart for them to refer to.
In closing, there are many ways people show support, even if it doesn’t cost them any time, money, or trouble. Adding a Ukrainian flag on their usernames, liking and retweeting the information on Twitter to strengthen its message, or attending support marches or rallies. If they’re so inclined, they may give financially. They can apply to be a host for refugees. They can donate items. They can learn a bit of the Ukrainian language to communicate with Ukrainians in person or online. They can search online for Ukrainian events in their communities to attend and show their support.
But whatever your strength or capabilities are, you need to be alive in order to fight the good fight. As I continue to pass along Vira’s news, as I listen and participate in the Mriya Report on Twitter, when I hear updates on Radio Kultura, when I retweet Ukrainian information, when I engage with the vatniks and wannabes...even when I write in this blog, I am fighting. With all of my heart, I'm fighting.